Death of a spouse, divorce, and major illness are well known life stressors. But right up there with these major life events is moving. Whether it is down the street or around the world, moving is stressful. That stress can be even higher if you are planning to move when inventory is limited and prices are still higher than normal. While adults may be the ones to shoulder the burden of moving, children are just as aware of the stress that moving brings. If you, like many Americans, are making a move with children there are ways that you can make the transition to a new home much easier.
Acknowledge their Emotions
Children process emotions in very different ways than adults. They also feel and experience emotions in different ways. Children’s emotions range wildly, especially in stressful and unfamiliar situations. Don’t expect your children’s emotions to remain consistent during the moving process. While they may be excited to move to a new house, perhaps because of a larger bedroom or backyard, they may still be sad to leave their childhood home. Even if moving to a new home has aspects of happiness, they may have lingering anger or resentment over leaving the comfort of a familiar area. A wide range of emotions is natural and a healthy response to stress. You can make your child more comfortable with varying emotions by acknowledging how they feel. Allow them to discuss their emotions openly with you rather than constantly attempting to give them a pep talk. With the freedom and space to acknowledge and express their emotions, children can better adjust to a new home.
Work While they Sleep
When children are upset or nervous, they tend to cling to their parents. While this may be easy to remedy with a bit of extra cuddle time during the day, it can be difficult to accomplish when you are busy packing. Keep clutter to a minimum and work room by room to quietly box up items. Work while your children are napping or have gone to sleep for the evening. In addition, seeing the items of their home boxed up may increase the anxiety of some children. If this is the case for your child the last thing you want to do is make them more upset by packing right in front of them.
Pack a ‘favorites’ bag
While you may be comfortable placing all of your items in large boxes knowing they will be at your new house waiting for you to unpack, your child may not feel that way. If putting their favorite stuffed tiger in a box or their go to pack of crayons is upsetting to them you may need to switch things up. Make a special bag or box for your child to claim as their own. Allow them to choose what items are most special to them so they can pack them. In addition, your children can decorate the box or bag to make it their own. They may want to hold onto the bag or box rather than put it in the moving truck.
Say Goodbye
Moving to a home is exciting, but it is also bitter sweet. Saying goodbye to your old home can be a process. In order to provide closure to your children you need to be proactive about the changes that are coming. Make a list of the last things you want to do at your home together. The last trip to a favorite ice cream shop, last walk around the block, last trip to the park, etc. Check them off one by one. By slowly saying goodbye, your children can process the change in their lives while saying goodbye.
Make Moving Day Fun and Stress Free
Moving day is full of constant physical work and an ongoing list of things to do. But that doesn’t mean it needs to be stressful. If it is possible, send your kids to play at a family member’s home for the day. This will give you time to focus on moving while they are able to stay far away from the hustle and bustle of moving. If you are unable to find child-care consider finding help with moving. Hire a moving crew to do the majority of the heavy lifting, order a moving pod, or rent your moving truck for an extra day so that you can take your time moving into your new home. If you children are present for the entire moving day, they will without a doubt get restless. Plan activities to keep them occupied and safe. They can draw on moving boxes, help clean with safe water spray bottles, or simply give them a few extra boxes to build a fort.
Set up the Kids’ Rooms First
You may want to focus on setting up your living and dining room, but setting up your kids’ rooms first should be a top priority when unpacking. Getting your children settled into their new room will make them much more comfortable. Let them partake in the unpacking process and give them free-reign to set their room up as they see fit. This will give them some control and independence in the moving process, which will assist in their transition.
Get Back Into a Routine
Moving is time consuming and even though you may want to spend endless amounts of time fixing up and decorating your new house, eventually your children need to get back on schedule. Schedules create consistency for children and consistency is one of the most important keys to creating a calm environment. Establish mealtimes, snack time, naptime, and bedtime just like in your previous home. Don’t skip on bedtime routines just because you are busy unpacking. Instead stick with the usual routine so you children can have continued consistency in their lives.
Take a Tour
You may be inclined to spend all of your extra time decorating your new home. But your children will have little patience waiting for an entire house to be decorated before they can explore their new surroundings. Ask your real estate agent or do a bit of research and make a list of fun things to do in your new neighborhood. Find local parks, the library, cafe and ice cream shop near you. Take a family walk or drive around your neighborhood. This will give you a chance to meet your neighbors and make your children feel more at home in their new space. While you are meeting your neighbors try to set up playdates for your children. Making friends will help your children adjust to their new environment.
Set the Tone
If you are constantly worried and stressed about moving and adjusting to a new home, your children will notice and react. Remember that your children are watching you. Set the emotional tone for the situation by remaining calm and approaching your new home in a positive way. Don’t let the small interferences that come with moving drag your mood down. Simple errands like running to the store for more packing tape can be made fun by stopping by for an ice cream cone when you are done.
Be Patient
Settling into a new home will not be an overnight process. While you may have moved into your new home and set up your children’s rooms, they may need additional time to adjust. Be prepared for their adjustment to take a bit longer than you would like. Children can be slow to adapt to new settings and may struggle to process complex emotions. But with patience and understanding from you they can adjust and settle into their new home.
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