The whole point of being a parent is guiding your children to adulthood with as many essential tools for independence as possible. This is one of the biggest challenges anyone can face, as it takes a lifetime, and the stakes are incredibly high. If you have an older child or teen who is facing the next few years with trepidation, here are a few ways you can support them in making the right choices that lead them to a satisfying and meaningful life.
Prepare Them for Independence
As already mentioned above, being a parent is almost entirely about preparing your children for independence. It is about teaching them and providing them with a solid foundation upon which to build their own ideas and opinions. As you see them grow into a more rounded person with a unique perspective on life, you will notice yourself having to perform a balancing act between letting them make their own mistakes and helping them to avoid potential disasters. This is all part of raising a young adult.
Suggest, Don’t Order
Even the most well-behaved and obedient kids don’t respond well to orders, especially from their parents. Instead of telling them what to do, make suggestions and listen to their thoughts. If you strongly disagree with their decisions, talk to them about your reasoning and help them to see your point of view without insisting that they agree. This is usually much more effective than arguing.
Discuss Education
One of the biggest opportunities that a child can have for their future prospects is a good education. Once they have left school, will they want to continue learning? Talk to them about the available options, such as universities, gap years, and employment. Sites such as Campus Reel can help you find out more about the various requirements for different universities. This is great for helping you to narrow down where they might like to attend. Encourage them to make sound decisions with your own experience as a source of useful information they can trust.
Create Backup Plans
It is incredibly rare for anyone’s initial plans to always succeed. More often than not, a backup plan is needed before a satisfying outcome is reached. Reassure your child that it is normal for problems to arise and plans to fall apart. Teach them that it isn’t about achieving goals as quickly as possible but about learning from mistakes and engaging with life as a series of worthwhile experiences. For example, if they apply to several colleges and aren’t accepted, be sympathetic to their disappointment but don’t dwell on it. Before sending the applications, discuss possible backup plans that you are both happy with. This might involve studying again so they can reapply next year or finding a job in the meantime. Let them know that the path is rarely straightforward.
Hopefully, some of this advice has helped you to feel more confident about talking to your child about their future and how you can support them to achieve their goals.
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